I’ve been fortunate in my writing career for a number of reasons, but the most important of all is the extraordinary people I’ve met—people who knock me out with their talent, their grit, and their character. Just one look at Jen Knox will tell you that she has great character. Her eyes tell the truth of things, as does her heart and the words she stitches together so beautifully. When I first met Jen and discovered that she’d written a memoir titled Musical Chairs, I went out right away and bought it. When I read it, I was stunned. Jen has accomplished what many a memoirist does not: she told her story in a clear, unsentimental, and brutally honest voice.  If you’ve not read Jen’s memoir, then please add it to your “must read” list immediately. I can’t recommend it highly enough.

I’m delighted to introduce you to Jen here on BRAVA! Thank you, Jen, for accepting my invitation to tell your story.

Why I Write …

“I like to think that I was always a writer, but it wasn’t always obvious.  I didn’t spend my childhood creating plotlines with crayons or sketching poems into my coloring books like many authors I know and admire.  Nor did I keep journals or show any discernable talent for the craft.  No, my journey to the writing life was unpredictable and often quite awkward.

I remember returning to school, a small community college as an adult student, at age nineteen.  It was a tough transition, and a tough awakening to see how dimly literate I was on paper.  I was a high school drop-out and it showed when I took placement tests.  Much to my dismay, I was placed into a remedial English course, and slowly, painstakingly, I learned many of the basics I had missed.  As my English improved, I began to realize the value of the written word.  What’s more, I was reintroduced to a childhood hobby: reading.  It was in college that I learned how to read, really read and was introduced to the vast, transcendent world of good literature—a world I had only glimpsed in younger years.

Looking back now, I think there might have been some tells, some clues that I would one day write.  As a child, I was quiet, watchful, and wholly imaginative.  I had a natural curiosity about others’ lives.  The less I understood a person I met, the more I needed to understand him or her.  Further, I liked taking long walks, venturing farther from home each time, just to see what else was out there.  This wanderlust would lead me into a mess of trouble in my teenage years, true, but I think that the compulsion to explore is common among writers and other artists—even those who are not yet channeling their creativity in positive ways.

As I pushed slowly through college, working hard to “catch up to the smart kids,” I realized how quickly my life was changing and how important writing was to those changes.  I wrote short stories and essays daily, my first non-assigned work being a cautionary tale about giant frogs (by far my worst and yet my favorite work to-date).  And as I accumulated a body of work, I began to share my creations with others and get feedback.  This was tough at first, and like many beginning writers, I was defensive when I heard criticism.  But eventually, after a few writing-specific courses, I got used to it and even learned how to listen.  In other words, I learned how to hone my craft.

There are many storytellers in the world, people who can add entertainment, interest and insight to the most everyday or most extreme of experiences; people who can invent plots that make people think about the world in a slightly different way—this is no small gift.  But, after embarking upon my own journey toward the writing life, I also realize that writing is not done in a vacuum.  It’s too difficult, too multifaceted, to all-inclusive to execute in solitude.  Writing is a never ending learning process, and in order for a storyteller to translate her gift onto the page, she must first learn to listen, and to live.  She must listen to the writers she admires, listen to the readers who tell her they don’t understand, listen to the stories that are begging to find their way onto the page.  For me, this was my personal journey.

In October of 2009, I published Musical Chairs, a memoir about a few tumultuous years after I ran away from home at age fifteen.  This book was cathartic and, some would argue, therapeutic, but what’s more, this book was my genuine voice on the page.  I’m honored to have the opportunity to share my story, and I don’t plan to stop writing any time soon.  I see writing as a gift, and as I work now, both as a freelance writer and creative writing professor, I see the value of sharing my journey because others out there just might be able to relate.  Often, those of us who have said, “I’m just not a writer” or “I’m no good with words” are wrong, and when we figure it out, if we do, the sky is hardly the limit.”

About Jen:

Jen Knox earned her MFA from Bennington’s Writing Seminars and works as a fiction editor at Our Stories Literary Journal and a Creative Writing Professor at San Antonio Community College. Her shorter writing has been published in Flashquake, The Houston Literary Journal, Midwest Literary Magazine, Short Story America, Slow Trains, SLAB, Superstition Review, and Quiz & Quill. And forthcoming work will appear in Eclectic Flash, Foundling Review and Metazen. Jen grew up in Ohio and lives in Texas, where she is working on a short story collection entitled To Begin Again and a novel entitled Absurd Hunger.

Website:  http://www.jenknox.com

Blog: http://jenknox.blogspot.com/

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A while back I happened to stumble upon a blog titled: The Mrs. Oklahoma Pageant. Imagine the surprise I felt when I saw that a quote from my novel was the topic of a post. I stared at the words “Finding your fire” and then read what was said. Lauri Rottmayer, the author of that post, is the Executive Director of the Mrs. Oklahoma International Pageant. As I spent time reading about The Mrs. Oklahoma Pageant and what it truly exemplifies, I was impressed. So much so that I contacted Lauri to thank her for referencing a passage from my novel. Well, Lauri and I hit it off from the get-go, and I knew instantly that her beautiful smile and the sparkle in her eyes revealed the woman she is— charming, wise, and witty.

I asked Lauri if she’d like to share her story here on BRAVA! and she graciously accepted. So here, in Lauri’s own words, is the story behind The Mrs. Oklahoma Pageant.

So, what should that crown really represent?

When most people think of pageants, they think of women strutting across the stage in bathing suits and high heels. Superficial beauty topped by a sparkly crown with about as much substance as cotton candy. It’s thought that the women who compete in pageants are catty, backbiting and selfish. Not so in my world. Not with my titleholders.

It’s not everyone who can say that they are inspired by an assortment of amazing women on a daily basis. But I am blessed. I can say that. As the executive director of the Mrs. Oklahoma International Pageant, every day is inspirational for me. The reason is due to my state and local titleholders.

Our pageant is community service platform based.  Most women have a passion inside that they want to share with the world or at least their local community.  The community service aspect of our pageant offers these women a way to do just that.  A friend of mine shared that in my role, I help women to become more than they already are.  Humbling, yes, but I do feel that I serve as a mentor to the women who choose to participate.

An encourager by nature, gratification comes as I watch each woman travel along the path from when she receives her local title until she competes at the state pageant and beyond.  To watch the confidence and knowledge build as they go from event to event is wonderful.  They come to me with an idea. They are then awarded a title and go to work. The crown and banner opens doors. While it shouldn’t be that way, I learned myself as a younger woman the power of being Mrs. Titleholder. People who wouldn’t normally listen to me all of a sudden wanted to hear what I had to say.

Our ladies are starting non-profit organizations, heading up committees in already established organizations and working with their representatives to enact legislation that will help whatever their chosen cause may be.

Mrs. Oklahoma 2007, Brooke Good, is a young mother of two from Walters.  She herself is a survivor of sexual child abuse and wants girls to know that they can overcome the nightmare of this abuse. She works with the girls at the Marie Detty Girls Home in Lawton. By sharing her story this past year at fundraising events, she helped to raise over $70,000 for the Samaritan Counseling Center in Bartlesville and the Christian Family Counseling Center in Lawton so disadvantaged women can receive counseling for sexual abuse. Brooke continues this work although her reign as Mrs. Oklahoma ended in 2008.

Rachel Roberts of Tulsa, Mrs. Oklahoma 2009, is the mother of four year old Maddy.  After Maddy’s birth, Rachel suffered from severe post partum depression. Since Rachel first entered our system in 2006, she has spent her time speaking to groups about post partum depression awareness and working with her representatives to let them know the importance of their support of the MOTHERS Act. In her farewell speech at the March pageant, she said, “This pageant has helped me turn a very difficult and almost fatal time in my life into something I feel passionate about”.

Our newly crowned Mrs. Oklahoma, Heidi Ducato, was present when her aunt had a heart attack. Not knowing the signs of heart attack in women, Heidi was terrified and didn’t know what to do. After her experience, she wondered, “Is there more that I could be doing?” She wanted to find a way to prevent what she had witnessed from happening to anyone else. She found the American Heart Association and her “HEART fell in love” with the Go Red for Women movement.

Inspirational? You bet.

While these three women are the ones I used as examples of my inspiration, I am equally influenced and inspired by my local titleholders as well. They are all strong, committed women with a passion for the cause they have chosen to represent. I love that they share their excitement and successes with me.

The interesting story that surrounds each woman brings me new inspiration on a daily basis. I don’t have daughters of my own but if I did, I would take any one (or all!) of the amazing women I get the privilege of working with.

I’m proud to be involved in this pageant system and to be able to mentor such an incredible group of women. Oftentimes the women who choose to compete say they are looking to do something for themselves but ultimately they end up doing so much more for the people around them.  Beautiful inside and out, they are raising awareness, raising funds and effecting change in their communities and our state. We laugh together, cry together, and support each other through our collective journeys. It’s awesome!

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I’ll always remember the day I typed those two hard-won words “THE END” and leaned back in my chair. I was thrilled to have accomplished my goal, yet terrified to take the next step. I’d read the horror stories—that elusive and exclusive world of publishing seemed so formidable—thousands of query letters a day were unceremoniously tossed into the infamous slush pile. So what could I do to make certain mine wasn’t among them?

I thought about the research I’d done in my design business—all those hours I’d spent studying furniture, fabric, and accessory manufacturers before deciding who among them was the best for the market I was seeking. And as I contemplated finding not just a literary agent, but the right literary agent who would present my work to a carefully selected publisher, I knew research was the key.

Week after week I checked out agents in Publishers Marketplace and Agent Query. Once I learned who was selling what to whom, I compiled my submission list as thoughtfully as I had selected furniture manufacturers.

The next big moment had arrived—it was time to compose the all-important query letter. I’m embarrassed to admit that this single page, 275-word document took an entire week to write, rewrite, and polish. But I viewed my query to be exactly like the showroom window in my design studio—it had to immediately stop people in their tracks, stir curiosity, and hopefully delight whoever saw it so much that they’d fling open the door. I’ve always believed in the wisdom of that old adage: “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”

Thankfully the hours of research and the rewritten-so-many-times-I-thought-I’d lose-my-mind query letter delivered results beyond anything I could have anticipated. But my involvement in my book’s journey didn’t stop on the day I signed my publishing contract. Interior design had taught me that having the product simply wasn’t enough—it was time to start marketing. I began by searching for book bloggers on the Internet, and I made contact with the ones who expressed their enjoyment of Southern fiction and coming-of-age-stories, and I set up accounts on Twitter and Facebook.

Being a card-carrying introvert, these things weren’t easy for me. The marketing of design services involved creative advertising in print media, and rarely was I the focal point. But I knew I had to step out of my comfort zone when it came to marketing my book, so I extended my hand and got out there—tentatively at first, no doubt about it, but I connected.

And here’s what I found—a new group of book-loving friends—a few as near as my hometown and others as far away as New Zealand and Russia. I’ve met exceptional people—librarians, booksellers, book bloggers, published authors and those who aspire to be. I’ve accepted invitations to be interviewed on blogs, in print, and in the media, and I’ve added more book-signing events to my author tour. The lone wolf part of me howls at all this, and more than once I’ve felt the acid burn of fear in my throat, but the interior designer turned author who understands the importance of marketing always wins out.

Looking back, without the marketing experience I developed as a business owner, I never would have taken full advantage of the opportunities available by connecting to booklovers via the World Wide Web. But in the rapidly changing world where newspapers are faltering and dropping their book review sections, and more and more people are getting their news online, it’s imperative that we, as writers, explore every avenue available.

It takes time, research, and even a bit of chutzpah to put ourselves out there. And it takes courage too. But as Mark Twain said: “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear.”

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Like countless others, I’m sickened by the horrors being inflicted on innocent wildlife due to the BP disaster in the Gulf. In fact, I’m so sickened by the pictures of dying wildlife coated in oil that I can’t even bring myself to post one. I’m making a plea to all my animal-loving friends to please make a donation to the National Wildlife Federation. The NWF is working tirelessly to save all the wonderful creatures they possibly can, but it takes resources.

Please, I urge you to take a look at the good work the NWF is doing and help them out in any way can. You can read about it here: National Wildlife Foundation Oil Spill Crisis

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Today I am happy and grateful.

That is all.

It is more than enough.

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